This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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