..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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