if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
