Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Actions speak louder than pants.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
