Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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