my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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