i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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