then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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