Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
