I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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