hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
