I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
