i may or may not be watching the land before time
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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