And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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