Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
