Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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