I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
wow bdsm is so cute
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
