I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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