I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
