i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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