I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
