Yo dont text me then not text me
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
