Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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