just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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