My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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