this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
