Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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