So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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