I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
