I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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