wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
