i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize