you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Boobs speak an international language.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
