We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
