But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
