Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
