he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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