Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
