after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
