please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
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I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
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you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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