Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
