No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
