Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
