we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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