I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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