it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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