I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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