please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
