Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize