I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
time to smoke my breakfast
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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