There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Drunk is not a location!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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