Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
