Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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