fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
