when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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