It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
